Boring
by theodorant
Summary: Izaya's bored, what else is there to do in Ikebukuro? Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1

This is Izaya and Shizuo, and some shit I made up for my cousin.

Long, slender fingers were tapping on the mahogany armchair. His brown eyes were focused onto the television screen, with a bored look on his face. There wasn't anything good on the news; nothing big has been happening in Ikebukuro nowadays and all the stupid shows were getting too practical, repetitive and _boring_. He sighed, head facing the ceiling. _This world is getting too boring_, he thought. He wants to leave the apartment, but he might come face to face with those children, and he'd rather not do that. Or as Kida once said, "Shit will go down."

He quickly snatches the remote control placed on top of the side-table next to him. Gritting his teeth, he presses the channel button, looking for something actually interesting to watch. A minute passes by and lobs the remote control across the room. He lets out a defeated sigh and walks around in his living room. _God, he really needs a hobby_. Instinct calls to him, and before he knew it, he was inside the kitchen, facing the kitchen sink. Next to the sink were the knives, placed neatly in one container by size – smallest to biggest. He tilts his head, he doesn't know which one is which, _are any of those the bread knife? What about the fat one, that's probably the butcher knife, right? _He asks himself. He vaguely remembers that he bought the knife set just for show, just so his apartment somehow looks "normal" as the other people would call it. He chuckles, it's still useless. Besides, he frequently buys take-outs.

He leaves the kitchen and takes out his cellphone, sitting on the Lazy Boy couch. Speaking of dangerous, he just knows _who_ to call. He presses the number 6, since the person_ is_ on speed-dial. People will think it's weird to have your possible-killer is on your speed-dial, but sometimes it keeps him on his toes.; especially when satellites could track the man's phone whenever he's within a 100-meter radius. He waits for someone on the side to answer, he's been counting.

_ 1, 2, 3 -…_

"'Lo?"

"Heh, hey," he smirks; he could imagine the other man fuming.

"The fuck do you want again, Izaya?" He groans incredulously, the man on the other line sounds frustrated.

"Yeah," he replies. A beat, "Missed me?"

"Fuck_ no_," the man seethed, Izaya could hear him grit his teeth.

"Aww, don't be mad. How many phones have you destroyed this week, like six?" he taunted.

Izaya could hear the other man's breathing, from erratic to normal. It seems he could somehow control his temper.

"No, Izaya, shut the fuck up. I don't need this shit from you right now," he growled.

Izaya laughs, amusement in his eyes. The other man really is entertaining, but he doesn't need to know that.

"I know you don't, that's why this is so much fun, don't you think?" the man on the other end sighs. Everyday seems to be like this: Izaya annoys the hell out of him, he gets provoked, they try to cut each other's throats, someone interrupts, and they stop fighting. It's an endless cycle.

"Look Izaya, I don't fucking care, you some-"

"Come to the park, today at 3," Izaya distracting him.

"… And if I don't?"

"Ikebukuro goes _boom_!" he exclaims.

"You wouldn't?"

"Oh, I would. You know me well enough, I always stick to the plan," he sing-songed.

"You're bluffing. I know you are, Izaya."

"No, I'm not," _checkmate._ "So who's going to save Ikebukuro now? Time is ticking…"

"You ass. Fine, I'm go-" Izaya quickly disconnects, and plans for the rest of the day, smirking.

_ Life isn't so boring after all._


	2. Chapter 2

Then I made another one, just for fun.

* * *

He knows he shouldn't have come. He knows this is a trap. He –

_He's an idiot._

Shizuo studies the park carefully, looking a certain raven-haired man. He knows he's being played by Izaya. It's pretty obvious considering it's him. Both knew it, but Shizuo still came because he's too gullible and too curious. He looks for a sign, something completely out-of-character. Usually it's a Hello Kitty trademark or a pink phone to piss him off. He's been roaming around the park for a few minutes now, every time they have meetings like these, Izaya would always be the first to come, giving Izaya the advantage. He'd study his surroundings from top to bottom, then that's where the mindfuck happens.

"Get your ice cream here!"

Shizuo snaps out of his thoughts, glaring at the ice cream vendor. The man notices, and becomes paralyzed with fear. He inches a few steps back, hiding behind the ice cream cart, avoiding Shizuo's gaze.

"Hey," Shizuo cautiously walks toward the vendor, but the man hides in terror, pulling the cart away from the man with the glasses.

"No, no, please, just leave me alone. Don't hurt me, take whatever you want," the man raises his hands in surrender, trapped between a tree and Shizuo. He quickly starts taking out every kind of ice cream, laying them on top of the cart in rows. Bewildered, Shizuo stares. _Is he really that intimidating?_ He sighs, shaking his head.

"I just wanted-" he began. The man screams, ducking for his dear life. Shizuo waits for the man to quiet down, feeling uncomfortable at the stares from everyone. The vendor slowly rises to his feet, still shaking.

"I just need to know if you've seen a man… Black hair, wearing a black jacket and jeans; almost as tall as me, an asshole," he drifts off, clenching his teeth. _If he ever sees Izaya, he's not going to see the light of day._

"Um, yes, I've seen him," he replies nervously, telling Shizuo everything. He nods, swiping a popsicle out of the counter and thanks him. The vendor bids him farewell and runs, pushing his cart away as possible from him.

Walking around once more, he follows the directions the vendor had given him. Izaya had used the swing set, the slide and ran around the playground like a madman, then raced toward the pink bench that was close to the park entrance. Shizuo approached the bench; it was hot pink, filled hello kitty stickers and encouraging quotes written in permanent markers. The bench reeked of fresh paint, Shizuo rolled his eyes, Izaya literally bought a bench and made it look girly to antagonize him.

_The things the man does when he is bored… _

The closer he got to the bench, he realizes that there's a pink letter addressed to him. He opens the letter carefully, scared that the letter might explode on his face. He reads it, face turning red, and screams in rage. He crumples the letter, and stomps out of the park, mumbling to himself on how he should kill Izaya.

On the letter, it says:

_I'm just kidding. _


End file.
